I wanted to sit down and take a quick moment to share what’s on my heart. Today has actually been a little more difficult than most have been recently. I’ve just found it easier to be down than up, I guess you could say. Someone commented on an old post that they envisioned where Nathan and I are this point as being similar to standing in line for the high dive and thinking, “We’re next” as we watch our precious friends go through each day with their new baby. When I read that, I felt that in a way, that’s exactly how I feel (especially since I’ve always been terrified of the high dive!). Watching others experience the reality of trisomy 18 has created a jumble of emotions for me. In one sense, I’m trying desperately to guard my heart against believing that what is happening with them will happen for us. I know that is simply unrealistic. If anything can be said for trisomy 18, it is that the condition is unpredictable. Our situation may end up bearing very few similarities, or it may follow a fairly similar path. I just can’t know. So, in one way I am trying to keep it in perspective. On the other hand, I realize that no matter how things unfold, the same kinds of joys and hurts are going to be involved. I’ve witnessed God’s faithfulness to them, and it has encouraged me. And yet today, I realized that everything has started to take a toll on me emotionally.
I was just sitting down to do some work, when I came across a set of verses that I feel like God wanted me to see. As you read them, you’ll notice a common theme.
Colossians 3:15
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
John 14:27
Peace, I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world gives, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Isaiah 26:3
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee; because he trusts in thee.
The statement Papa had written after these verses was “This peace is not the absence of problems, but the addition of power.” I love that! These verses aren’t telling me that everything will be smooth sailing… rather they are saying that in the midst of the hard times, Jesus has given us His peace which is supernatural and beyond anything that makes earthly sense. I love God’s word because it is so relevant. It speaks to me exactly where I am. Today I was down, but Jesus met me where I was and lifted me up.
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18 comments:
I found your blog through the Farley's. As I read each of your entries this afternoon, I have been overwhelmed with sadness for what you are facing. I know there will be moments of extreme joy and sorrow ahead, but I also know that our God will be faithful. He will not let you slip through His fingers.
Psalm 121
I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
I want you to know that I am, and will be, faithfully praying for you here in Tennessee.
As I was reading your post I had a thought...that it is no coincidence that the Lord led you to this job with PTI during this season of your life. It is giving you such a neat opportunity to go back over amazing thoughts and verses from Papa! I know it is not as good as having him here to give them to you himself, but this is like the next best thing! All this just occured to me, I am sure you have already thought about it! But you are all the time in the midst of his wisdom even while you are working! I hope my thoughts make sense! I love you tons!
Julie
Praying for you today, Angie. There is strange and wonderful peace that He gives and will give in these times, and in times to come. I remember when Abby died, the verse about the Spirit groaning for us. You will experience that, most assuredly. I love you, and would never wish any of this on anyone, but who better, than Nathan and you? Look how many hurting people you are reaching through your circumstance.
James 1:12
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
1 Peter 1:6-7
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
Please know that I am praying for you, Nathan, and Marianna.
Jena Baker
Faith Baptist
Praying for you today. Isn't it awesome to know the peace-speaker! I pray you will find joy in the midst of the storm.
Angie, thank you for sharing your honest thoughts - it is through you and Nathan that I have been able to depend more heavily on Christ and less on myself. I am thrilled to know the ultimate peacemaker, and I know that he will give you a peace that passes all understanding - as only He can.
What an amazing God we serve! I'm so glad you found peace today in God's gentle whisper. Your Papa encourages me to keep writing all that the Lord teaches me, for my girls and their children to look upon someday. It is true that your future is uncertain, but what is also true, what I as a mother of a little girl who only got to stay with us in this world for five days, is that the time you have with Poppy will be PERFECT and you are anointed by God for this job. No one else would do. In all the earth, there were only two parents for this sacred life and God has always known those two people were you and Nathan. May you be blessed and may you continue to set your eyes above this world, on the beautiful sky above that reminds us of God's awesome power and the promises He gives. There is always a rainbow somewhere after the storm. ;) Be blessed to be standing where you are. Right now is all that we're guaranteed and right now is all we need to know. The Lord hems us in behind and before, so do not let tomorrow's worry steal today's joy. You are lifted up in KY.
Angie I am praying for you. May God's loving & protective arms be wrapped around you especially this evening. Livona
Angie,
Your papa said something during a sermon I have NEVER forgotten......and it has carried me through many a hard time.....
"The same God that brought you out of Egypt will not leave you in the desert."
Comfort and peace to you tonight.
I'm praying for you,
Karen in Germantown
Hi Angie--this is Rachel--Emily (Murbach) Duncan's sister. She gave me the link to your blog & I've been following it for a couple of weeks now. You have truly blessed my soul with your faith & trust in God's goodness--even on your difficult days. As we are walking through my Mom's cancer, God has been whispering to my heart that He is still good. That He still loves us. That His peace will guard our hearts & minds. That it's ok to be angry & to ask Him why He is allowing these things in our lives--He's big enough to handle that. I cannot even begin to understand what you are walking through right now, but I have been familiar with sorrow as of late, so I can understand that side of things. Please know that I've been praying for you & your sweet family & will continue to do so. Hope you have a good day!
Angie,
I have been praying for you, for Nathan and for Poppy as I have begun to follow your blog. Thank you for sharing this journey.
This morning, the Lord reminded me of a verse that has meant so much to me throughout the years--
"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Selah" Psalm 68:19
I will be praying that you will know daily His presence as He bears your burdens!
Laurie
Sweet Angie,
"This peace is not the absence of problems, but the addition of power."
What a blessing to have the spirit and wisdom of your Papa whispering Gods truths to you like this. I am going to call this the High Dive peace, as it really struck home to my heart that this "particular peace" meets us deep where the darkest unknown fears and anxieties lie. (I too could never bring my paralized self to physically jump and took an F (gladly) in PE. However in real life with its trials and challenges, I now understand that this is the peace I experienced in my Free-Fall, and God gave it to me even though I did not know how to ask. Thank you Angie, peace seems to be one of those words used a lot. I pray for you daily as I pray for the Farleys journey they are in. I pray for you and Nathan as you closely follow and encourage them, that the Lord gives you new lenses to see deeper than the struggles and witness Gods perfect peace that is keeping balance when there appears to be no
certainties. He is in perfect control of every breath this baby takes, just as He has His loving eyes on Poppy Joy today. I pray for your anxieties and fears to fall at His feet as He walks between you and Nathan each moment. Let this peace carry you today, knowing it will only get stronger when you reach this time in December. And may it lift you up moment to moment and keep your minds and hearts protect in Jesus. You are always in my heart. Lord plant your feet on Higher Ground today.
Laurie in Ca.
Dear Angie:
What a wonderful Christian Mother you are! How God has blessed you with a mother and grandmother that have passed on their love for God's word to you.
God will bless you and be with you as you walk this valley.
I have often wondered why my Mom lost her first three babies - two at birth and one after two months. Then I was born #4. What a great woman she was -- I thank God all the time for her. You are that kind of woman. I love your family so very much. God bless you.
Barbara
Dear Angie,
During the darkest night of my life, I prayed and said ,"God if you don't manifest yourself to me , I will die." And He did. I don't know how I would have made it through that terrible night , except that I felt the presence of God in a way that I never had before or since. It was as if He carried me . I know that He will gently carry you and Nathan and Poppy Joy in His arms when you don't have any strength of your own. It is quite an amazing thing to experience. I was even at awe as I saw God carry me through. I was amazed at the strength that he gave me. I am confident that the strength will come just at the moment that you desperately need it. Love always, Mom
Amen.
Angie, you are in our prayers. You family has always had a special place in my heart. I have seen your family in good times and bad and their faith has never faded. Your grandfather will always be known as one of this centuries greatest pastors. I am sadened for you; but I see him holding your precious baby and laughing because they both will be called Poppy. What a joy in knowing he will be there for Poppy. 16 years ago, he prayed over my daughter in your position now. God answered a miracle in our lives; and whether he chooses to do that for you; we don't know. But we do know that He is in control and you are loved and prayed for.
This post was a blessing to me. I continue to be amazed at your faith and strength. I will pray for you and Nathan and Marianna as you are preparing for the journey of Poppy's life.
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