Thursday, September 27, 2007

He gives and takes

This morning as I sit down to write, I find myself with the pendulum swinging right in between the two extremes of “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes…” Last night Jesus chose to take Copeland home to be with him after eight days on this earth. She is whole, and perfect, and most of all, she is with Jesus, but there is still a loss. We didn’t get to meet her personally, be we felt such a connection with the precious little baby who must be so much like little Poppy. Last night as Nathan and I went to bed, we didn’t really have words, so we just went to sleep with tears in our eyes. Then, as I woke in the middle of the night (as I do several times every night, and the instances are becoming more frequent the bigger I get!), I realized that for the first time in days, I didn’t need to pray that God give Copeland the strength to breathe. Instead, I felt God lay on my heart to pray for my dearest friend in the world who is going in today to have her second baby.

And so this morning I find myself with a jumble of sorrow, joy, and bittersweet emotions. I will be heading off in just a little bit to wait at the hospital for Lily Grace to arrive, and I cannot wait to see her and hold and rejoice in her health and life. At the same time, today will be a sad reminder of what is not to be. Julie and I had our first two babies six months apart, and now they are best friends (the picture is of the two of them on vacation this summer in CO). It has been so wonderful to watch them grow up together, and when we found out that we were again having babies, this time just a bit over two months apart, I looked forward to the second set of “best friends” that would inevitably follow. The fact that that is not to be breaks my heart. I wish I could tell Lily today that she will get to meet her friend very soon, but I can’t.

However, even though I have already shed some tears today and no doubt will have more before it’s over, I think I will look back on today and remember happiness. Jesus is so good. He reminds me in more ways than I can count every day. He owes me nothing. I deserve nothing. Yet, He loves me so much and shows me in an amazing variety of ways. Today He will show me through the gift of Lily. I can say with new meaning today, “The Lord gives. The Lord takes. Blessed be His name forever.”


Emily said...

I'm praying for you today that God would give you joy in the midst of your range of emotions.

Laurie said...

Dear Angie, I prayed for you last night as Copeland went with Jesus. You and Nathan are on my heart daily and you have a solid place in it. I pray Gods grace all over Poppy Joy as He continues preparing her to meet her mommy and daddy.
Life is so unpredictable yet so precious as Copeland went with Jesus yesterday, and Lily Grace is arriving today with Jesus. And here you are in the middle of the giving and the taking. Let your heart rejoice in the arrival of this precious gift today and be blessed.
Tomorrow is in Gods hands and He will bring you through. Kiss that baby for me, a grandmother in Ca.

Anonymous said...

Nathan and Angie,
My husband went to school with Boothe Farley, and I found out from Clare Holcomb Richardson about your blog. I will definitely keep Poppy Joy and your family in my prayers.
Nicole Wilkes Eaton

Anonymous said...

Praying for you today...

Jena baker said...

You and Nathan have been on my heart alot lately as I followed baby Copeland's life. Please know I pray for you both daily.

Jena Baker
Faith Baptist

Dee Dee in NC said...

Praying for you as you go through a complicated day.

amanda said...

i am praying for you.

leslianne said...

what a blessing it was to hear your sweet voice today. i drew from your strength as we talked. i love you so dearly and miss you terribly.

Anonymous said...

Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1st Thessalonians 5:11

Angie, I find myself coming here often as you and your husband are on my mind daily. I pray for you both daily and hope that you have peace through this troubling time.

When I come here, it is with the sole purpose of bringing some encouragement to y'all. But I believe that you give me more encouragement than I could ever give you. Your words are powerful. The faith that reflects through your words is incredible to me and your wisdom is far beyond your years. You are a beautiful young woman Angie. That is clearly shown here.

I want to share something with you so you will see, I hope, how you and this storm that you are in the midst of has helped and continues to help me. . . . . . 38 years ago when I was 12, I gave my life to the Lord. It was a very happy day for me. Shortly after that day a very awful, terrible thing happened to that young girl that would change my life and how I would view things for many years to come. That storm would lead me down the wrong path as I became very angry. Angry at God. I could not understand, at that young age, how the God I loved and just gave myself to would turn His back on me and allow such a thing to happen. And so, for 38 years, I stayed on that path, running away from Him and blaming Him for every bad thing that happend to me. And at times wondering if He even existed. It wasn't until this year, as I have been reflecting on the last 50 years of my life, that I know He does exist and He has been there with me through it all and loving me all the way. He carried me through that storm and every storm since that time. And I never want to lose that faith again and you encourage me so by the faith you show here.

I share that little bit of my life with you Angie to let you know that what is happening with you and Poppy Joy is actually helping so many people and changing lives. I am one of them. Your words, your wisdom, and your faith has actually helped me grow closer to Him. You, through this blog, have helped me to let go of something I have held onto for many years. And you have helped me, (by the faith you have) to understand that I too, with faith in Him, can make it through the small storms I find myself in the middle of. And I know that something beautiful will be the end result.

God bless you Angie and thank you for sharing your love of God, your faith, and your journey.

Denise & Jeff said...

We pray that when your souls melt from heaviness that God will continue to strengthen you according to His Word (Ps. 119:28)

The O'Dea Family said...

I found your blog through the Farley's. You and your family will be in my prayers. I also noticed that your daughter has my name...what a small world and what a great name!

Marianna in AL