I keep finding that things that I know are hitting me in new ways. I almost feel like truths that seem so elementary are suddenly quite profound in light of our current situation. Today I had one of those moments. I was reading in I Corinthians 15, and Paul is talking about the resurrection from the dead. Evidently some in the church were saying that there was no resurrection from the dead, and Paul points out that if this were the case that would translate into no hope beyond this life. This leads him to say in verse 19 "If we have hope in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied." I found so much comfort in this! If all we as Christians had to hope in was going to be found in this life, then what reason would we have to go on whenever an inevitable tragedgy hits? If this life was it, then the loss of Poppy would be unbearable. The finality and senselessness would be maddening, and I honestly cannot imagine continuing to go on, let alone gone on with any semblance of joy. But the wondeful truth is that Jesus did rise from the dead, and everyone who is His will never really experience death. I can't imagine living one day without the hope that gives me.
Seeing Poppy leave this earth and go to be with Jesus and experience the reality of hope I have in my heart will be the hardest thing I have ever endured. Even knowing that she will be perfect and whole will not erase my own pain over her loss. But the point is, that even though I will inevitably experience the greatest personal grief of my life, my grief will not be for her! If I had any grief on her behalf, I think my sorrow would be crippling. But as it is, I know that I can have "joy through my teardrops," as my mom has written in a beautiful poem, because I know that the reality of Jesus' death and resurrection gives me hope for everyday inspite of circumstances. This is why I can praise Him in the storm.
Thank you so much for your continued prayers and support! I've realized that I will never get tired of hearing someone tell me they are praying for me because I've come know the reality of the difference it makes in my life. I never want to take one single person's prayers for granted, and I want you to know how deeply grateful we are to you.
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12 comments:
I'm glad you realize how important it is to hear people say that they love you and are praying for you because actually I don't have anything wise to say to you nor do you need that from me - I am praying for you and do love you. That's what I want you to know the most. I look almost every day to see your posts. Thank you once again for sharing yourself with us all.
Praying for you in Florida...
Dear Angie,
I am loving you and your family out here in California and check here every morning to see how you are. I have learned through the ups and downs of my life that HOPE is the powerful word God whispers in my heart when I need strength to keep going. Jesus is our blessed assurance of Hope. I will continue to pray each day that the Lord lifts you up and plants your feet on Higher Ground. Your spirit is so sweet and I know Poppy Joy is safe with you and the Father. Continue to enjoy her every moment now, trusting God with her future. He loves you guys so much.
Laurie in Ca.
Angie,
I was a member of Bellevue for about 9 years and had the privilege of hearing your grandfather. A friend from Memphis sent me your blog site. You and your family are in my prayers. Your life is such a testimony. Not only is your Papa proud of you but so is your Heavenly Father.
What we cannot understand, we can endure with God.---Adrian Rogers
Sherry in Johnson City, TN
My prayers and my love are with you and your family. The medical community may say that Trisomy 18 may be incompatible with life, but Poppy is alive now. She has physical life today. The miracle of life is not that we have long life -although that in and of itself is a miracle... The miracle of life is that for a moment, however long, life exist.
As a parent, we dream full and eventful lives for our children. We too often forget to appreciate the miracle we have in this moment. We forget, that is until something reminds us that each second is precious and that we should love our children impetiously this very moment.
So my prayers and my love are with you - the mother who cannot forget the gift of this very moment.
Praying for you tonight in Northwest Arkansas ... His grace is sufficient ...
Hi Angie,
I was going to tell Janice and your grandma how much you are blessing me each time you post, but I figured I'd tell you directly instead.
You and Nathan are so strong - even though you may not feel like it sometimes. You are such a blessing to those with children with terminal conditions as well as those of us who pray for a
"normal" baby. I just want you to know that I pray for you and I appreciate you linking to Copeland Farley's blog.
My father will have surgery this week and I have gotten so much strength from you and Boothe in the last week - so I thank you for that. I commented to my mom the day Copeland went home to Heaven that I know now why God allows these children to be given to Christian couples - if a non-Christian had a child such as Copeland, they would have no hope for that child, no assurance they would see that child again.
I'm not sure why I'm rambling, but thank God for your blog - it gives me a place to "brain dump" so it's another blessing.
Thank you for your thoughts - I really do look forward to reading them.
Karen Turk Marshall
Angie,
I am praying for you and Nathan and Marianna, that the testimony of your faithfulness through your time with Poppy Joy will bring many to a saving knowledge of the One who walks you through it all. Jesus Christ died so that Poppy might live forever with Him. Not only Poppy, but also any who will believe in Him through your message. Your lives can be living sermons!
Jesus prays for you in John 17:15, "My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one."
Thank you for sharing your journey. I will pray for you every morning and when "...Night is drawing nigh; Shadows of the evening steal across the sky..."
I loved your Papa, and I love you!
<><, Elizabeth
We ARE praying for you, Angie. You are loved by so many people. I wish so much that there was something I could do or say to help you. Thank you for sharing your heart.
You all have strengthened my faith in ways you will never know this side of heaven. Just know that watching Poppy's story unfold has shone light in dark parts of my heart. Please pray for me as I struggle with debilitating depression. I am definitely praying for Poppy Joy.
Dear Angie,
It's just me out here in Ca. checking in on you since the last time I wrote was in September:) I hope you don't mind but it seems I have developed heart muscles in the past couple of months praying for Copeland and her family. I can't stop myself. So I just want to let you know you have my heart whenever you need it in the days ahead. Keep loving that little sweetheart who is safe inside you right under your heart and know that the rest of us out here will be praying for the peace, no anxiety, joy, not over-thinking the future which can steal your present joy. Just try as best you can to be still and know God is who He says He is. You, Nathan, and that little lovebug Marianne are covered and surrounded in prayer. And I for one will be right outside the delivery room praying when Poppy Joys birthday arrives. It will be a sweet day for your family. The future is in the best Hands of all. You can trust Him.
Love, Laurie in Ca.
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