Wednesday, September 12, 2007

God Isn't Fair...

Yesterday when I was at the gym, I glanced up at one of the TV screens and saw a national talk show in progress. I began reading the closed captioning words mid-way through the talk, but it wasn’t difficult to pick up on the gist of the conversation: the four ladies were discussing God and His role in our lives. Controversy sparked as different opinions were stirred into the mix, but what caught my attention more than anything was when one of the ladies spoke words to the effect that even though the tsunami hadn’t touched their lives individually, it had touched thousands of others. She said a God who could let that happen must not be paying attention to everything, and if he was, he wasn’t doing a very good job. I have certainly heard sentiments like this expressed before, but somehow as I read the words and studied her face as she spoke them, something in my heart broke because I sensed that she and so many others believe that with all of their hearts. I sensed that if it was all boiled down, what she was expressing was a belief that God is not fair, so he cannot be good. I ached with sadness because I saw that the argument was logical, yet it is so far from the truth that resonates in my heart!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about God and fairness and logic. Of course, initially it didn’t seem “fair” to me that Poppy isn’t going to have a chance to live, and it didn’t seem “fair” that I have to endure 9 months of being pregnant without reaping the lifetime of joy a child brings. The list goes on, but I have realized that this is a dangerous road to let my mind start to wander down. The reality of the situation is that God is not fair, and nowhere in the Bible does He make any promises to be so. The problem is, I sometimes confuse fairness and justness by seeing them as synonymous. But they aren’t. The other thing I’ve spent a good deal of time pondering is “logic.” What has become abundantly obvious is that most things that I would consider logical, God does not. It’s hard for me to see the logic in creating a child whose entire system is at war with itself. It doesn’t seem logical that God give us a child who can’t live when we want her so badly, while he gives healthy children to parents who abort them. So, the second reality I’ve embraced is God’s mind is so far above mine, that I will never be able to comprehend Him. I think a verse that sums it all up is found in I Corinthians 1:25, and it says “The foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom…”

The thing is, God doesn’t operate under feeble human frameworks of fairness or logic. Instead, He works in ways that defy our understanding, and He bring glory to Himself in ways I could never have imagined. That is why I have found such wonderful comfort in the verse from I Corinthians 1:27 which states “But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong.” I don’t think anyone can deny that Poppy is one of the “weak things of the world.” We were even encouraged by the “wise of this world” (the high-risk pregnancy specialist) to have her terminated immediately. But I am confident with everything in me that God is going to use her, and her frailness is going to be the very thing He is going to use to do amazing things. Does it make sense? Absolutely not. But that very fact makes me love God more.

To sum it all up, God isn’t fair, but He is so good! He allows us to go through pain, and He allows the world to suffer tragedy, but He has sent us Jesus. He has given us hope. He has promised to love us, stand by us, and never leave us. There are many things about God that I will never understand, but one thing I do know is that He is good, and for me, that is enough. My prayer is that if there is anyone out there who is reading this and is struggling to make sense of the things in this world, they will allow themselves to abandon “logic” for a moment and instead allow God to breathe into them the realness of His love.


Johnny R. said...

While to all of us it is easy to logicaly conclude that God isn't fair, I always agree with people when they say that. They are usually taken back by me (a Christian) making that comment to them. But I respond after that, in saying that while our logic says that things God allows to happen seemingly are not fair,(and ultimately the fact that all of humanity deserves hell because of what Adam allowed to happen in the garden is not fair), it is ALSO NOT FAIR that God allowed us a way of escape through the shed blood of His son Jesus on the cross and His resurrection from the dead! That's why the amazing grace of God is so sweet! That's why I love Jesus sooooooo much. And that's why I also realized that my pea brain can't possibly understand why God allows certain tragedies to happen.........but then I come across this blog and read your testimony about this pregnancy and can see that God can and will use all things for His glory. He is using you right now. Your testimony of how Dr. Rodgers influenced you was wonderful! I also loved Dr. Rodgers very much and will always listen to his sermons to feed on. Your sweet spirit and acceptance of this pregnancy is very uplifting and helps put things in perspective for all of us that read your blog. God is using you tremendously and I thank you for your witness thru this hard time. I will be praying for you and your family! God bless you!!!

Annie Tucker said...


I like what you said about God not being fair, but He is so good! It really is a comfort to know that. I have been praying (and will continue to pray) for you and your sweet family. Reading this blog, I always recieve a blessing. You and your family are such a testimony!

Josh and Annie Tucker

Linda/Emme said...

Angie, I am so glad that God is not fair or I could never hope for Heaven which I am only gifted with through His grace - amazing!

I know that your Papa is especially well pleased with his granddaughter today, on his birthday, seeing you grow, as Jesus did, "in wisdom... and favor with God and men."

The leaps of your faith are wondrous to see as you and Nathan walk through this time together.
I love you all.

Cindy said...

It's amazing how God uses other believers to encourage us, and that is what He has done through you. Thank You! I have just been struggling with these exact questions in my mind, even though I know the truth, I know it's not all for me to understand. I'm not God, He is and He knows what He is doing. But, there are moments throughout the day that it doesn't seem humanly "fair" to me. My husband and I have been reading those exact verses, and discussing them. Thanks for sharing your perspective. I'm a grieving mom who has just stumbled upon all you ladies with your babies, or cancer, etc. I have been so encouraged and have thought it interesting that even though our stories are not similar by way of our struggles we still can share so many of the same thoughts. Then today one of my best friends, who is pregnant, found out the doctor has some concerns with the most recent ultrasound. It still may be nothing, but right away all you ladies that I have been reading your blogs came to my mind. It's just hard, we so expect it all (life) to go like a bowl of cherries, and yet the hard things of this life only bring us to our knees and to see just how dependent we are and were designed to be. So thank you, your blog is the last I checked before I head of to bed, and it's just the encouragement I needed as my mind wanders to sleep. God bless, and I will continue to pray for your family.
Cindy Waldeck

Kayren said...

Angie and Nathan, we are praying for you and your sweet family. May God continue to hold you up and encourage you each day. We do know that God will cause all things to work together for our good and His glory.

We love your grandmother and loved your papa. May God bless all of you. Kayren Duckworth

Micah said...

i've been so packed with getting things underway at school lately that i often forget to contact you guys, read the blog, pray for you, etc. but today in chapel, my housemate brandon preached on god in the midst of violence and unjust situations. "rachel is weeping for her children" was the text. after the sermon in a spoken prayer request time, i said your names aloud and asked for prayer. several people throughout the day today were concerned and voiced their love and support to me aloud. just want you to know that i, along with some fellow students here, are thinking of and praying for you as a community and as individuals. love you guys so much.

Elizabeth S said...

Hi. I found your blog through another, and what you said really spoke to me today. I am in a class at our church on Christian Evidences, and last week we were talking about how big God is and how he is beyond our comprehension. I remember thinking, "I am glad he is beyond my comprehension. I don't think I would want to serve a god that I could understand." Your faith inspires me. I know that Poppy will have an amazing impact on this world. Thank you for sharing your journey.

juliekeefe said...

Thank you for sharing your are another name on our prayer list. God bless you all,
The Keefe Family

Anonymous said...

Just stopping by to once again let you know that I pray for you, Nathan and your family many times every day.

Nancy Gray

Anonymous said...

Nathan and Angie,
I wanted to share the words of a beloved old hymn written in 1924 by Ira Sankey. Under his wings, what a refuge in sorrow! How the heart yearningly turns to His rest! Often when earth has no balm for my healing, THERE I find comfort and there I am blest. Under his wings who from His love can sever? Under his wings my soul shall abide, safely abide forever.
I am praying for you.
Linda Cole

Emily said...

Whew. Amen sister.

You took the words right out of my heart. ;)

Mom of 3 miracle girls

Kerry said...

Found your blog via another and this was a GREAT post! Reading so many blogs of innocent children with struggles makes me struggle with my relationship with God sometimes. This post reminds me of so many good things about God and that He knows the bigger picture. I can't wait for Glory someday to see it all laid out.