Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Experiment: tested and in need of more testing still

Yesterday I wrote about the 15 minute power nap, and today I decided to test it out. I set the alarm on my phone, locked the dogs out of the upstairs room, and prepared to see just how much rejuvenation can come from such a short rest. 30 seconds in, the dog began to scratch at the door. 30 more seconds and Marianna was yelling for me from downstairs where she was taking her rest. I got up, went out to see what Marianna wanted, returned to the couch with the new knowledge M had given me regarding a fairy's ability to fly. I began to doubt the practicality of getting any rest at all, let alone 15 straight minutes. A few more minutes, and I realized I was holding my breath, waiting to see what would happen next.

Surprisingly, nothing did. I wouldn't say I fell asleep, but I would say I felt better than before I took the rest, so I think that counts for something!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

15 minutes

I don't know about you, but the thought of taking a nap (even a much needed one) right in the middle of what should be my most productive time of the day shoots shivers of guilt up and down my spine. It seems that unless you are pregnant or sick, there isn't an excuse good enough to choose sleep over all the many other things that should be done in the kids' rest time. Really, isn't it true?

But the fact is, the head knowledge that a nap is wasteful doesn't always get rid of that 3:00 I-would-like-nothing-better-than-to-take-a-nap feeling. So what are my options? One, of course, is to simply press on, barrel through, pour the cup of coffee and get on with what I should really be doing. Or I could just take the nap and deal with the guilt later. Those are the obvious two possibilities. But could it be that a 3rd, and possibly even better option is out there?

I remember as a little girl walking into my grandfather's study to find him stretched out on the floor, right in front of the window, taking his 15 minute power nap. I always thought it was funny to think that 15 minutes would do any good, but at the ripe age of 10, what do you expect? Today, however, as I looked up and saw the clock had hit 3:00, I remembered those power naps, and all of the sudden, I understood. I haven't really tried one out, so this theory is firmly in the untested phase of things, but it makes perfect sense. What if I set the timer and laid down on the couch for a guilt-free quarter hours rest? Would it do the trick? My guess is that it absolutely would.

I've wasted my window of opportunity today, but tomorrow? Yes, I think tomorrow I will try it out and see what 15 minutes might do for my afternoon.

Friday, March 12, 2010

from the beginning of time

Two years ago, Nathan and I did something we never would have even imagined ourselves doing at the ages of 25 and 27. We sure hadn't seen it coming, but it was also something that we knew was exactly what God wanted us doing. We felt the kind of sureness that comes seldom in life; I guess it was assurance that even though we were making a move that was opening us up to a very unknown future, God was going to do something incredible.

With that in mind, and hearts handed over to God for His protection, we delivered our adoption paperwork to our agency. Then we settled in to wait and pray. Even then, we knew there were interviews to complete and a home study to be done, so a baby wasn't a possibility quite yet. That moment came a month later, in April, when we opened up a letter, very short but very full. We were approved by our agency to become a prospective adoptive couple.

I can remember being thrilled from my toes to my hair as I considered the baby that God was going to bring into our home. Yes, there were many scary possibilities, many things unknown, many opportunities along the way to get hurt, but none of that could keep back the excitement that I felt.

But even then, how could I have imagined this?

When I take it all in, it almost knocks me over. There isn't even imagining life without Adrienne.

She is the third baby God had for me from the beginning of time, of that I am convinced.

God knows everything and always has. That means that He knew about Poppy, He knew how she would come into our lives and change everything, He knew how she would touch us, and He knew how He would call here home.

He knew that on this earth, the sister Marianna would be holding onto and kissing and pestering and loving, would not be the one born 2 years after she was. It would be the one born 2 1/2 years after her. That's the kind of plan God makes for our lives. The kind that can not be conceived with human logic and reasoning skills. But this is the plan He had for me, and its beauty takes my breath away.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


I've been mulling over one of those hypothetical questions—the kind that serves absolutely no purpose other than to make me think. Here's what it is: If I could change one thing about myself, what would it be? I'm not willing to commit to a lifetime answer, but for now, I think I have settled on something. I would change my persistent short-sightedness. My mindset that seems to autopilot back to relying on my very human, very flawed perspective, instead of God's.

I've been trying to think about all of the things that would be different in my life if I could always see the big picture without the concerns of the small scene crowding out my vision, and I think I've pretty much decided that it would all be different. Every single little aspect of my life. How would I spend money if I always had God's eternal perspective in mind? How would spend my time? How would I use my talents? How would I treat those around me?

Differently. I'm convinced of that. So many of the things I do are done before they are ever put through that final filter of eternal perspective. In fact, if I really had it right, that wouldn't be the final filter, but the first. Keeping my thoughts focused on the big picture, what am I really here for setting is something I know would radically change the way I did things. It is a simple concept, but for me at least, unbelievably difficult to put into practice all of the time. The reason for that probably has something to do with the fact that it doesn't just happen on its own, even if it's something I wish did. Instead it takes focus. Prayer. Commitment. A daily effort and decision to choose to see things in light of eternity instead of the light of today.

It's something I want, and it's something I know I need. Some things may be out of our control to change in our lives, but this is not one of those things. Every day, for the rest of my life, it can be something I strive for, and hopefully get closer and closer to attaining, until finally, one day, I am face to face with Him and there will no longer be a need for it.