from vision to reality

I'm re-posting something that I wrote in April of 2008. Go ahead and read it, and I'll tell you why I think this is pretty downright amazing.

Children of Promise

I recently started running again, and I was quickly reminded that it is a form of exercise I like in theory more than reality. It's a love/hate relationship because I truly do like it when I'm good at it, but right now, being a year out of practice, I stink. I'm trying to push through, and I've set a goal to work my way back up to a 5K hopefully by next month.

I think one of the reasons I'm struggling right now is the boredom factor. I run outside with no iPod or music entertainment of any sort, making it incredibly easy to focus on the shortness of breath and pain in my side rather than anything positive. But the other day something broke through the tedium. It wasn't a vision, but it was something I envisioned as clearly as if I was seeing a photograph in front of me. It was like all of the sudden I had this image of babies and children outside on a blanket, bunched together for a photo shoot. They didn't look at all alike, but every one of them was smiling. As the picture floated in my head, I felt God telling me, "These are the children of promise."

I remember years ago on the first anniversary of September 11th seeing a magazine with a front cover spread of the babies who had been born after that date. I remember thinking they were a dual symbol of grief and hope. They were reminders of so much that was lost, yet they were also beautiful pictures of life after the tragedy. "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13

This is the closest thing I can think of to compare what I saw. The picture in my mind had so many kids, and one of them was mine—the baby we haven't yet adopted, but who we know God has already chosen for us. The others were the children of my friends who walked this road with me. The kids didn't know it, but what they all shared in common was the fact that they all had a brother or sister in heaven who they would never know. They had no idea how special they were; they had no idea that they were the children of God's promise.

I doubt that photograph will ever be taken physically, but I feel the truth of the image is certain. I don't know when or how, but I believe that God will provide for each of us, in His perfect way, and in His flawless timing. That does not mean the road will be all sunshine from this moment on. God hasn't promised that. But He has promised in Psalm 30:5 that "Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning." I've already experienced this shout of joy in many ways, but I don't think it is complete. God has put on my heart the desire for another child, and I believe He wants to fulfill this in my life. I'm looking forward to seeing His promise play out, one beautiful child at a time.

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That picture I envisioned one spring day last April, has become a reality. Yvette, Christy, Kim, Kenzie, Chrissy, Karen, Emily, and I, the members of the Atlanta Eight, all have our children of promise. Seven of us have those babies in our arms, and in just a few months, Karen will as well. This has been one front row seat I wouldn't have traded for the world, as I've gotten to see how God has worked in our lives individually and as a whole, bringing healing and new life in His perfect timing.

And now it seems like something is brewing—something as you can tell from the old post that I never expected to happen. It looks like we just might get that chance to come together again, all of our babies with us, and take that picture I saw in my head last April. The details are not all in place, but I feel in my heart that it is going to happen. These babies did not heal our hearts—only God could do that—yet they are symbolic of God's love, His grace, and His provision.

I want to leave you with this. It is a clip from a Beth Moore conference that Chrissy was able to attend last weekend, and to me it is simply God's sweet confirmation to all of us that He uses those who are willing to give their situations over to Him, and He redeems the pain for His good. I got chills when I listened, not because she was talking about me and my other friends, but because she was giving testimony to something that is straight from God. I am in awe of the mighty God we serve!