Prayer is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. One thing that has become blaringly obvious is how much about prayer I don’t understand and how much there is to learn about it! I’ve been struck by its unparalleled power and its amazing ability to have a literal impact on my life. There have been many times in the past when prayer has seemed abstract, almost as if it does not have direct bearing on the day to day events of life, but now I realize it wasn’t prayer but my attitude about prayer that left me with this impression. I still feel in many ways that I am just scratching the surface where prayer is concerned, but I am so grateful that God has brought me to the point He has—the point where prayer is a very real, very necessary, and very constant part of my existence.
Since the moment we heard the news about Poppy I’ve felt a need to communicate with God like never before in my life. For me, this has been the easy part. I have never felt for even a second as if I didn’t want to talk to God about every aspect of Poppy’s situation. What has been much harder has been knowing exactly what to pray. I have struggled to know what to ask for, floundering back and forth between wanting to pray specifically and wanting to ask God to just work His will. Part of me fears that if I pray specifically and with an expectant heart, then I will open myself up to added disappointment if it turns out that what I ask for isn’t what we get. I also struggle with the concept of whether it’s even possible to know what I want in this situation. My thought process goes something like this: Poppy’s condition is something I never could have fathomed for my child, yet God has chosen to give this to us. Therefore, He knows better than I ever could what I need, and maybe that is much better than praying for what I think I want. All of these thoughts are going round and round in my head, and I am continuing to ask God to guide me and teach me how He desires for me to pray.
However, while I feel like there are certainly many areas where I still have questions and no definite answers, I also know that God has revealed a great deal to me through His word, the guidance of His Spirit, and through the wisdom of others He has placed in my life. One of these areas has to do with the concept of miracles. I have been told by so many people that they are praying that God will work a miracle in Poppy’s life. To tell you the truth, that is exactly what I am praying as well! The only thing is, I think there are about a billion different ways a miracle can be manifested in her life, and I feel that so many are referring to just one miracle: that of perfect healing. First of all, let me say that not only do I think it’s okay to ask God for her perfect healing, I think it is something I should ask for! I believe that God has the power and authority to do absolutely anything with Poppy’s precious little body, and I will continue to ask Him to work a miracle of healing in her life, and I invite you to join me in that prayer! But, I feel like God has revealed to me that this should not be the driving focus of my prayer, because it is only one of countless ways that God can and will work miracles in and through Poppy.
He has impressed upon my heart the fact that she is already a miracle, and the ways in which she has touched lives, mine first and foremost, is miraculous in and of itself. Because of this I want the focus of my prayers for Poppy to center on asking God to perform a miracle that my heart and mind can’t conceive or comprehend. I am asking Him daily to be glorified through this in the way that He chooses, knowing that whether that involves perfect healing or not, it will be a miracle in the truest sense of the word. My great fear is that some people might think that God didn’t answer their prayers if they pray for a miracle and Poppy is indeed born with Trisomy 18. I pray that God will place assurance in each person’s heart that this is not the case! He is so big and so great, and His plans are so beyond what we can see and understand, so however He chooses to answer our prayers, I know that the answer will indeed be miraculous. James 5:16 says, “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” This is a promise I plan on clinging to in the days ahead. Thank you so much for your prayers for us. We are eternally grateful!