It has been over two months now since we got the news about Poppy, and we have two months from today still to go until her birth. I must say that up to this point, I have considered myself in a mode of getting ready for the battle to come. I have thought of this period as the peace before the storm, and I have been trying to do everything I can to ask God to prepare me for when the heavens break. While I definitely think there is truth to this, I also realized for the first time yesterday that in a way, I am fighting the biggest part of the battle right now.
My sister wrote me last week and told me that she had been thinking of the story of Abraham and Isaac, and the strong correlation it has to the situation we are going through right now. God comes to Abraham and asks the unthinkable: that he sacrifice his son, the son of God’s promise, on an altar. The amazing thing is, Abraham obeys God! He makes all of the preparations, takes Isaac, and already has Isaac strapped down to the alter before God stops him and provides a ram as a substitute. I immediately saw the connection. It is true that Nathan and I don’t really have a choice like Abraham did about whether to offer her up, because her medical condition renders us completely helpless to heal her by our own power. However, we do have a choice about attitude. We can choose to give her willingly to God and have faith in Him, or we can choose to fight Him, resent Him, and live in anger against Him. Like Abraham, I want to give her to God willingly, trusting in His love even when His plan doesn’t make sense.
But it wasn’t until yesterday that I realized another application in this story that I had missed. It hit me that Abraham did not win the battle when God provided the substitute sacrifice; rather, he won the battle when he began walking up that mountain with all of his supplies, including his son, but without any of the foreknowledge of God’s deliverance. He had so much faith in God, that he was willing to obey even when the future was completely unknown and bleak. This is exactly where we stand right now, in the midst of an unknown but ominous future. And it is now that I can place my full faith in God and His goodness, wisdom, and love and say, “I trust you God, to do whatever you are going to do with my baby, even though I don’t know what that means. I give her to you unconditionally.” My battle must be won before we ever reach the delivery room. It must be won right now in my heart through faith. Hebrews 11:6 says, “And without faith, it is impossible to please God…” and that means that if I am going to please Him in the midst of my storm, I must do it right now by placing my complete trust in Him. Yesterday, I realized something that I hope I remember and come back to my entire life: Faith is the victory.