I will sing to the LORD,
Because He has dealt bountifully with me.
Psalm 13:6
OK, you're going to have to hang in with me for a minute because what I'm going to say isn't going to seem rational. Here it is: Poppy's situation is a wonderful blessing. I know, I know, that's crazy. I'm supposed to say, "this is a blessing in disguise," not "this is a blessing." I don't want to call it a disguise, though, and I'll try to break this apart for you.
As well as I understand the adage, "a blessing in disguise" refers to finding something of value somewhere unexpected or receiving something good because of something not-so-good. One weak example might be fretting over and looking for a lost Lego piece and stumbling upon a $20 bill in the process. Or maybe being delayed in getting home because of a car wreck instead of being in your house when a storm destroys it. I think that the keyword is probably surprise; it's about expectations.
Now, to Poppy. For me to call her situation "a blessing in disguise," I'd be placing the focus on circumstances revolving around her instead of simply on her. While I have been greatly blessed because she has Trisomy 18, I think those are secondary blessings. The primary blessing, the real object of value in all of this, is our fragile baby.
Greater than the lessons from Poppy's disease is my daughter herself. Poppy is a child and children are a gift from God. A child's sickly condition does not make her less of a gift. The very fact that God has allowed me to be her father is so amazing. I may never see her personality develop to its finished state, but I have no doubt that she would be every bit as wonderful as her mother and sister are.
Call me stubborn, but this is why I won't say "a blessing in disguise." Jesus loves Poppy exactly as she is and not because of how she can bless me or others or because she has particular physical needs. Her value is not in how she can be used or in her fragility, but in that she was made in God's image for His glory. Yeah, I'm going to hurt and losing her will be terrible and excruciatingly painful, but isn't God bigger than my anxiety and my fear?
So, I'm singing that Psalm with David. God has blessed me greatly and perhaps the greatest blessing in my life is my family, of which Poppy is an integral part. When I think of her, I refuse to make Trisomy 18 the focus. Instead, I choose to fix my heart on my precious and wonderful daughter.
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6 comments:
Angie and Nathan,
I want you to know how my heart breaks for the hurt that you will inevitably have to endure. Sweet Poppy has already captured a part of my heart, and I earnestly pray for her daily. I agree with you Nathan that she is such a blessing!
I am praying for each one of you in specific ways, and I wanted to share a prayer that I have offered up to God for both of you. One of my favorite hymns is "Great is Thy Faithfulness". I find great comfort and healing in singing praises to the Lord. This morning I was listening and singing along to this song on my way to work, and one line struck me as a promise for each of you. In the middle of the verse that starts out "Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth..." the line, "Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow..." stood out to me. That is my prayer for you today.. that God will give you STRENGTH for TODAY and a BRIGHT HOPE for TOMORROW. I love you both.
Rach
Dearest Nathan
My heart is filled with joy to know that Angie is married such a wonderful man. I know that God has brought you into all of our lives .
You are so right about your precious little girl. She is perfect in every way! Please know how much I love you . Mom Edmiston
Angie and Nathan,
I know you guys probably don't remember me, but I am a friend of Julie's. I wanted to tell you that the two of you have utterly amazed me with how you are handling things so clearly. I have been truly touched by the two of you. I also find, Angie, that you are so unselfish in the fact that you want all of your loved ones to get to hold Poppy instead of hanging onto her yourself the whole time.
I saw that you had mentioned earlier that you weren't looking forward to different events throughout the pregnancy like you had before. I just wanted you to know that you can still look forward to your due date because this baby will give you so much strength and joy all over again just as Marianna does.
Our family will continue to pray for you and look forward to Poppy's arrival!!!
Love,
Angela Montgomery
I am praying for you to continue to be encouraged and strong in your faith. It is all that got us through. It is wonderful that T18 does not define our children. They are blessings from God and are not imperfect in any way.
God Bless you.
Mandy
GA
www.madelinegracehopkins.blogspot.com
Angie & Nathan,
What an encouragement you are to us as you travel this difficult journey and choose to trust God. We have found Him to be faithful and His grace to be sufficient in the middle of life's most painful experiences. Our little Deanna Grace also was born with T18 and what a special gift from God she was. We ask God to meet all your needs according to His glorious rices in Christ Jesus (Phil.4:19).
In His love,
Denise & Jeff
Your thoughts are so beautifully written... it gives honor to our good God and honor to your little Poppy. I just felt myself say, "Amen".
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