Sunday, June 1, 2008

wow


I'm sitting in my living room with Adrienne sleeping peacefully a few feet away in her swing. It's a little amazing to me that she can be sleeping at all, because I realized shortly after putting her in that the swing has acquired a squeak in the months it has lay dormant in the attic. But even more amazing is the first part of what I wrote: I'm sitting in my living room with Adrienne. My third daughter.

It was six months ago today that Poppy was born, and six months ago that she went to heaven. Just six months! As I try to absorb everything, it's almost impossible. I think back to this time on December 1st, just a few hours after Poppy had left us, and I remember the loss and the grief and the joy. I couldn't think past the moment at the time, but had I been able to consider the future, I could not have fathomed where I find myself six months down the road. I would not have thought it possible that I would have a miracle child in my arms in less time than I would have been physically able to carry a baby. It absolutely blows my mind!

Thoughts and emotions are swirling around without a lot of definition when I try to take it all in. I know a big part of me feels unworthy. Not in the sense of parenthood in general, but in the sense of haven gotten chosen when there are so many other wonderful families out there waiting on a baby. Part of me is in total amazement that in two weeks my life has been turned upside down in a very good way. Some of my thoughts and feelings are focused on the future, as I consider the lack of finality our placement has. Parts of me are bewildered that I could forget so much about what it is like to hold a tiny baby in my arms and care for one so small and helpless. Much of me is tied up in the pure joy of watching Marianna and Adrienne together, hearing Marianna talk about her sister and tell Adrienne when she cries "It's okay, your sister is here" even though the crying is often a direct response to some of her affectionate, but not always infant appropriate, loving. And then more than all the others is the intense feeling of gratitude. Gratitude to the birth mother who chose to carry this precious life and then entrust her to me, and then gratitude to God who has overwhelmed us with His love, His provision, and His blessings.

As I look back over the past six months, I'm reminded that life has twists and turns, ups and downs, the expected and the unexpected. It is filled with every emotion under the sun, and everything has its season. Right now I am soaking this season up, living in the goodness of what God has given me in Adrienne Christine.

Now for the nitty gritty. Adrienne has been fantastic. She cries because she is most certainly a baby, but the great majority of the time she has been on her best behavior-especially at night time! Let's just say that she hasn't cried once during our three nights with her. I wake her to give her some food, but other than that, she's down and out for 10 hours. I didn't know that kind of thing was even possible =). But in the good moments and the bad, we are simply enjoying every bit of it.

I wish I could post a picture of this beautiful little baby girl, but until some loose ends are tied up that isn't possible. But believe me, I can't wait to share her with you! Please be praying for the day that you see a post with her sweet face because when you do, that means we've had very good news and the adoption will be finalized! Because of that, I'll just leave you with the picture of us right before meeting Adrienne for the first time.

I love you all, and I am so grateful for your faithfulness to me and my family!

Angie

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow. I have never commented before, but I am a faithful reader, and I wanted to send you my blessing and let you know I will be praying for you and your family. You are such a beautiful, wonderful family. The pure joy in all of your faces in that picture is so heart warming. So happy for you all.

Anonymous said...

Angie, I am just thrilled that this sweet little one is there with you all. And, I am praising the Lord for all that He has done for you and all of us, and for what He will continue to do.
We will continue to pray for you all and the birth mother.
I have been checking here so often in the past few days to hear this good news. So, needless to say, I am just so happy for you and will be praying that there are no set backs.
How "Great" is the Lord we love and serve.

Laurie said...

Wow Angie, Wow!!

The look of anticipation on your faces are absolutely beautiful. What a blessing to have this little miracle in your care right now. And sleeping through the night at her age??? Unheard of for me:) I am so blessed to read of your joy and answers to my prayers for you all. I understand about posting pictures and pray all details are worked out soon for you. God chose your family Angie, the birth mom chose your family, and I believe with all my heart that Adrienne was born for you. I am so glad that this is new all over again for you as you hold your third daughter. Each baby is a gift from God, no two alike. New life is so amazingly blessed and I am rejoicing with you. Enjoy this time and soak her into your hearts without the worry of hurt. We will trust the rest to the Lord together. Marianna's big sister skills are precious. I love you guys and am waiting for more pictures here:) How exciting is this time of the Lord?!

Laurie in Ca.

Jessica mommy to Alex/ RTS said...

wonderful!

Rebecca said...

Angie, thank you for the update.

I'll pray that you can enjoy Adrienne without worry -- except for the normal Mom worries.

I'll pray that the loose ends are tied up soon, in whatever way the Lord has in store.

In the meantime, enjoy that baby. Love is what she needs.

Rebecca

Rhondi said...

Oh, I am just overjoyed for you. I can't wait to see that precious girl!
Congratulations.

The Lenda's said...

Praising God for your precious miracle. Love the excitement on all of your faces as you await meeting your third precious daughter. Pray very soon that all the paperwork is officially completed so she is yours in writing. Until then may you rest assured knowing that she is yours ordained by God to be your child before she was born and even before you were born. Enjoy each precious moment with your tiny one she will grow so fast. Now onto praying for the day when I can log on and see a picture of your new little baby doll!
Hugs and Congrats to all of your family. May God give you peace and comfort knowing that He has a plan for you all and may you not fear losing her but relax and lean on Him for peace.
Rachel

Emily said...

I am so thrilled that you have this new little angel with you! I have been waiting & check several times daily to get an update! I can't wait to see a picture of her & I can't wait to hear more from you.
Emily

KrazyMom said...

I am so happy for you! God is good!

Jenny said...

Oh Angie!! I'm so glad you posted today...I've been checking all weekend to see if you had written. How wonderful you have Adrienne home with you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Can't wait to see her sweet face! Congratulations!!! Jenny

Kim (marygracesummons.blogspot.com) said...

Dear Sweet Angie,
I was thinking of Poppy and her family today and how thankful I am for that precious angel. 6 months.....unbelievable!
I am in awe that you have your 3rd daughter with you and it sounds like it is just beautiful. I love hearing how Marianna is loving on her. Poppy I am sure is loving to look down on her sisters Marianna and Adrienne and she has to be proud! I am thinking of you and continuing to pray over the WHOLE situation, God knows all the little details and is marvelously working it all out, I just know it.
I love you friend and I celebrate Poppy tonight!
With love,
Kim

Anonymous said...

Angie,
I think I have worn out my refresh button waiting on this update. :-)
I am a friend of Mardecia's and have been following your story since well before your sweet Poppy was born. I too adopted my daughter 4 years ago. What an experience!!! When you have been touched by adoption, you can't read a story like yours without MANY joyful tears. I have been praying for Adrienne's birth mother and will continue to do so. I pray for my daughter's birth mother almost daily. I'm so hoping that if my child doesn't get to meet her in this life that she will be in heaven when we all get there.
Thank you for sharing your story with me. Our God is an awesome God.
Love and Prayers,
Allison in TX
allie1111@peoplepc.com

Allison said...

Oh, how my heart is smiling:) I have loved being able to see God's provision in your life unfold. Truly amazing! I can't wait to see her beautiful face!

I know Poppy Joy is smiling down from Heaven;)

Just Me said...

Wow is right! Praying those "loose ends" are tied up soon (mostly for you and your family, but also a tiny bit so I can ooo and ahh over a picture of your precious Adrienne!)

This weekend I am doing "respite care" for a 2-year-old. So far so good (both of us still have smiles on our faces!). Nothing like a newborn, but an experience anyway!

I am so happy for you! Thanks for sneaking away from your new little one long enough to post an update for all of us who have been "patiently" waiting for one!
Take care,
Amanda

Crystal said...

Angie-- I will be praying for you as y'all patiently wait for the completion of the adoption. May the Lord bless you with peace in this waiting period.

Crystal

tn_lizzie2000 said...

\O/ God \O/ is \O/ Good \O/

Dear Nathan,
With a house-full of females, you will forever be surrounded by beautiful women! :o)

Enjoy your girls ~ They are all gifts from God, and you are the man that He planned for them.

I am praying for all of you, and I am praying for Adrienne's birth mother. May you all have joy in the middle of this journey...

\O/ GOD \O/ IS \O/ GOOD \O/

Jen in Al said...

Oh, Angie, i am so excited and thrilled for you all!!!! i have been checking, hoping for wonderful news that your baby girl is home! praying for all to go without a hitch and to be able to see a picture of your third daughter ASAP! Praising the Lord for Poppy Joy!!!!!!!
Blessings, jen in al

Kiss said...

Your excitement is palpable in that picture! Thanks be to God that He has allowed Adrienne to find her forever family. I cannot wait to see her sweet little face.

Anonymous said...

Angie
What a beautiful picture. I have been following your blog since poppy died. Whata faithful and loving family you are. God is in
control at all times and will take care of all your needs. I have prayed many prayers for your family
and will continue. I check your site everynight and cannot wait to
see pictures! This has been a
ministry to me to see how god is
working with you through all this.
will continue to pray for all of you and Marianna is a fabulous
big sister.

Cathy said...

Angie, Please just continue to soak it up. I love how grateful you are to the birthmom for choosing life. To us who cannot bear a child, without them our lives would be so different. Thank to God that he place your family and the birthfamily right exactly where each needed to be. Adrienne Christine is exactly where He want her to be. God Bless your family and Happy 6th months to precious Poppy. Cathy & Annabel

asplashofsunshine said...

CONGRATULATIONS! The look on all of your faces tell the entire story... What a lucky little girl!

TNS said...

Beautiful. I've been checking so often hoping to hear your joyful news. I'm so thankful to God for you.

Judy said...

I have a idea of what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your whole family.

Anonymous said...

Angie, tell big Sister we said she better take real good care of here baby Sister, God is just so very good Congrat's its wonderful!

boltefamily said...

I am in tears reading your words. I am so very happy for your family! I will continue praying for each of you in the days weeks and months to come. Your story gives me hope.

jenb said...

I am so happy for you all, and just so amazed by how God has blessed you with this sweet baby girl. When you mentioned that she was sleeping such long stretches of time (which is amazing...hopefully it will last!) the first thing I thought of is that she is in a happy home where she feels loved and content, and that must make her feel so secure and sleepy! She is such a very blessed little girl to go from so much uncertainty surrounding her birth to your loving home. Congratulations - and know that you are covered in prayer.
The Brownlees

amanda said...

so awesome! truly a testimony of our Lord's faithfulness! it is such a joy to see Him at work! love you!

Jodee Leader said...

Congratulations! I am so very excited for you. I can't wait to see her sweet face!

Dawn said...

I will be waiting for the day we all get to see Adrienne's beautiful face! Bless you all!

Love,
UNC NICU RN

The Sanchez Family said...

I am so happy for you all that your little girl in home with her family. I can't wait for the day that her sweet face is on the blog! I will be keeping your family in my prayers.

Melissa in KY

Linda said...

Angie,
I wrote you an email several months back and you were so gracious to respond. I have continued to follow your journey and have just read the good news, as we have been out of town without internet. In fact, I couldn't wait to get back home to read about your good news! I will be praying for you and your family, that God gives you a peace that passess all understanding! I know this is easier said than done, but when you start to have that nagging thought of worry, stop right then and give your worries to God. Angie, HE knows what you've been through, and God knows best, even when we don't understand it at times. I love reading about your sweet family, and will promise to pray that the adoption is finalized very soon!

L&DRNKY said...

Blessings sent your way from KY. I am so happy for you all. I will continue to pray as the loose ends are tied up that all goes well. God has truly blessed you.

Emily said...

Just smiling and thinking about y'all!! :)

Kenzie said...

Angie-

Love you girl and all that the Lord is working out for your family! Adrienne is so incredibly blessed...

Love you and continued prayers,
Kenzie

Elizabeth said...

Congratulations on the arrival of your third daughter. I am rejoicing with you. I know everyone agrees that we can't wait to see her. I'll be praying that that can happen very soon.

Karen said...

I have been praying for you guys!!

Anonymous said...

Just praying for you and your family! What a WONDERFUL blessing to be at home with 2 of your girls! I know that Poppy is smiling down on you as she watches her Mommy and Daddy and big sister and her new little sister! What a joyous time for you all! I can't wait to see pictures of your family!!!!!!
Praying in Franklin, TN...