Monday, June 16, 2008
It's been 10 days since I wrote last, and each one that has passed has gotten us one day closer to today, which is the day that marks the end of the "change your mind" time for the birth mother. I felt such an overwhelming peace about her decision that I honestly haven't been living on pins and needles waiting for it to get here. But knowing that the final obstacle has been cleared simply serves to cement the permanence of Adrienne's place in our family. Her home is with us. She is a part of us forever.
The twenty days since we brought her home have been everything they should as we have gotten to know our baby, and we've jumped in head first to the world of adjustment, loving the good and the bad. Our greatest adventure so far has been going through with the vacation to Missouri that we had planned long before we knew about Adrienne. The seven hour car trip had it's bumps. In fact, it was mostly bumps with a few smooth places in between, but I wouldn't have traded getting to take her with us for anything. We found out she's a lake girl to the core. Each day we watched her live it up on the covered dock, taking most of her naps in the breezy outdoors while we played with Marianna in the lake. It was great. She had her first smiles, she cried some tears, she continued to sleep all through the night, Marianna poured out affection on her one minute, then completely forgot her the next. All of it was totally normal stuff, and it's exactly this kind of normal stuff that we've been praying for.
Can I say enough how grateful I am? No. I can't really get to the bottom of it myself. I just feel like we have been blessed beyond what anyone has ever been blessed, and the crazy thing is that I can say that after having lost Poppy just 6 months ago. Only God can do something like that. I know He works in different ways. I know that He works in ways I will never understand or be able to explain. But most of all, I know that He is faithful, and good, and loving, and merciful to an extent that my mind will never be able to comprehend. Yes, I am so grateful!
And as if there isn't enough, I'll add one more thing. Today I made all of arrangements to be able to go to Atlanta with 7 other moms who I've met through this journey. One of these moms had the terrific idea to get together and her plan is going to materialize at the end of this month. Again, just another part of this story that exemplifies God faithfulness to me.
I hope the purpose of this blog continues to be clear as long as I write. I am writing because I want to express what God has done. I want people to see the beauty that came from the death, disease and darkness that surrounded me. I want people to see hope in a world that doesn't see it often enough. I want to share the depth of the love that has covered me, protecting me from being drawn into despair and hopelessness. And through this love we have been given an actual life. Adrienne will always be a symbol of this love to me.