Monday, January 25, 2010

Mystery Post Monday-Decisions

My sister recently started a weekly post she is calling Mystery Post Mondays, and I'm going to jump on board whenever I can and participate! The topic randomly selected this morning pertains to decisions, and more specifically, the best decision that I have made this month.

I can tell you quite confidently that not only one, but three decisions I made after this morning's trip to Target, will no doubt prove to be the best of the month. Let me detail the perfect storm of unfortunate factors that left me feeling the need to apologize to any of you who have may have seen me and my children from 11:00-12:00, and which also consequently led to the making of the three fabulous decisions that will hopefully serve as protection for future outings.

Everything was starting off A-okay. Since it was right before lunch, I decided to let the girls have some popcorn while we strolled, in hopes of staving off the inevitable, "I'm hungry. I'm really, really hungry," remarks that begin pouring out as we go down the food aisles near noon. So I got the popcorn, and just because I really wanted it to be a fun trip I got the blue Icee too. I didn't stop there. I also allowed the girls to ride in that horrific contraption posing as a convenient way to push two young children through the store: the two-seater cart. The girls were ready for some serious fun.

My first clue that trouble was lurking came the moment I stuck the straw into the Icee. Up to this point, Adrienne has had no desire for anything but milk or water, but let me tell you, all of that has changed. As soon as she saw the icy blueness, she went crazy. She wanted it. All of it.

If you've ever been in similar circumstance, you can pretty much guess the rest. There is nothing fun about refereeing one small Icee between two thirsty girls, while manipulating that beast of a cart, and (yes, I really had dreamed to the moon and back) carrying my Starbucks. But that was just the beginning. The fun didn't really start until the popcorn, which had been placed in a nook at the feet of the girls, got kicked over in one of the Icee confrontations. Like a covering of snow, the popcorn blanketed the bottom of the cart where the girls feet went. This problem was magnified by the fact that the bottom of the cart actually had small slats instead of solid plastic, which allowed all of that popcorn to drop out, piece by piece, throughout the store. I spent the rest of the trip picking up popcorn as it dropped, every few feet or so, and sometimes, actually getting down on all fours to sweep it into piles with my hands. It was ugly, I'm not going to lie to you. And the worst part was knowing it was a mess of my own making. The girls would have been just find sans the food, drink, and fancy cart. Sure, Marianna might have said she was hungry and Adrienne might have reached her hand out to a box of crackers, but since when did that hurt anybody?

The self-induced torture was completed while we were checking out. The buckle on that dad gum seat couldn't keep Adrienne contained, and while she was taking advantage of the still cart to scramble out, the Icee was knocked out, right in front of a perfectly put together mother of two, whose knees weren't blackened from frequent encounters with the Target floor, and whose children were sitting, quiet and content in a normal cart. I scrambled to pick it up, and found that a small puddle of blue had leaked out. I looked around for anything I could grab to clean it, and of course, came up with nothing. In desperation, I grabbed the paper that I had written my Target list on, and got down on my hands and knees, again, to clean it up. We all know paper isn't absorbent, and unfortunately my embarrassing circumstances didn't change that fact. I was sincerely hoping that, just this time, the paper would do the trick. Sadly, it didn't.

Finally I escaped (but only after my cart gave me one parting stab by getting stuck against the register station) and by the time my feet touched the parking lot pavement, my three decisions were made.

1. I will never push that dreadful two-seater cart ever again.
2. Popcorn anywhere besides a movie-theatre is a menace. Stick to a sucker.
3. Icees will come in twos or not at all.

Those are the guidelines I will be living by for all future Target trips from now until forever. And even if they are not the best decisions for the month, they certainly come with the best story.


Laurin said...

angie. that is so funny! and, believe me, reminds me of me = ).

julie said...

thats a good story! rest assured we have all been there! and i totally agree about that terrible cart. nothing good ever happens when i give in to maggie and get that one. usually i end up pushing that huge cart around without the kids in it bc they can get out so easily.

Melody said...

Too funny!!!!

Jennifer said...

That is too funny! My mom got my daughter hooked on always getting an Icee and popcorn when they go to Target. Sometimes I just avoid going there so that I don't have to get the 2 of them.

Adam & Amy Wilson said...

Don't even know what to say except maybe: I'm sorry and thank you for a great laugh! :)

Jana said...

sounds just like a normal day in my house - only I don't start out w/ a positive attitude thinking that ANY trip to Target w/ my kids will be a good one! ;-)

Matt and Bethany said...

Angie, I am sure this was not funny in the midst of it, but I have tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard!

Jonana said...

Oh, I clearly remember the day I walked out of the grocery store and proclaimed that never again would we get a "racecar" buggy. I'm sorry for your hard trip to Target but at least it helps validate to all of us that it's not just us.

Robin said...

Yep, that sounds so much like me and something I would have done! Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

My mom used to let me ride one of the little rides at the front of some stores, or get me an icee or a treat at the end of our excursion ONLY if I behaved. That included no whining, no fighting with my older sister (2.5 years), no begging, and obedience. We often got our treats, but there were times when we walked out of the store very disappointed in ourselves.

Macy Cross said...

That cart is a beast. I once found one out in the parking lot before going inside so I put the kids in it. Did you know that coming from the parking lot Target sits on a slight upward slope? Big, fat and pregnant I was doing some serious huffing and puffing!

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the funky mom said...

Angie-I made the same vow several years ago when I had 3 of my kids with me. 2 were "locked" in the cute little red seats with the 3rd in a carrier in the basket. It was a constant battle of "who got to put their feet where" and "I can't see anything". So I made the promise never again. Then just last fall the same 3 with me again...Campbell now almost 3, the carrier being long gone, and begging "please mommy" so what could it hurt to try again. It's been almost 3 years. Well, remember your decision even three years later. It was still awful....the oldest, now walking instead of riding, gave me some of the trouble b/c "she just wanted to ride too" and then I handed out the goldfish...I'm so glad to know that I am not the only momma who actually picks up the mess. But what you didn't tell us was where you actually put the trash b/c the oldest decided to use C's boot, which kept falling off anyway, to scoop up the dirty goldfish. That really didn't go well once we finally made it to the car but that's another story. Anyway, stick to your guns. Haha! Love the way you make me laugh. Love the way you momma your girls!

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Stephanie said...

I loved this and got lots of great laughs from how many aspects of it I can relate to. I stopped using those carts because I got tired of looking like the uncoordinated crazy cart driving mom every time I couldn't turn it and ran into things.

We have also gotten ourselves all too often into a situation where we think something sounds so fun for them and we think it will be so great- a little treat like popcorn and an Icee, and it will totally back fire on us. Ah, sinful nature.

Being a mom can definitely strengthen character, whether it is patience, wisdom, or just plain learning not to judge... b/c I of course always thought "If my kids ever act up, I will address the issue and they will be under control in a heart beat..." Ha!
Now instead of judging I sympathize. I have so been there and know on any given day, that could be me.

Thanks for the story I think so many of can relate to and laugh about. =)

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