Next Step

I'm going to cut the suspense and get straight to it. Nathan and I have decided to pursue adoption! I'm excited, I'm nervous, I'm filled with hope, and I can't wait to get the process officially started! Okay, that being said, I'll back up and explain how this came about. Shortly after Poppy died, Nathan and I both began to think seriously about adoption. I think the idea came to us both separately, and we were excited to find a few days later that each of us had been considering the possibility. Let me give a quick side note and say that we had already felt led to adopt at some point in our lives—we just assumed it would be later on down the road after we had finished having children of our own. For many years now I have loved the concept of adoption and how it correlates with what God has done for us. I think it is such a beautiful picture of redemption and love, and I looked forward to being able to take one of these precious orphans into our family as our own. Originally, I had envisioned doing this by adopting internationally.

Moving back to present day, after Poppy’s loss and the subsequent knowledge that I would be unable to consider getting pregnant again for 18 months, we began to seriously pray about whether adoption was something that God had for us now as opposed to later. The answer we quickly came to was, YES! We both felt that this is exactly the path for us to begin exploring, and the only thing we wanted to know was whether to pursue international or domestic adoption.

My leaning and inclination had always been to adopt internationally. In fact, I can honestly say that domestic was not something I had ever considered before, but I wanted to make sure we covered all of the bases and went in the direction God had for us. In order to get all of the information, I set up an appointment with a Christian adoption agency called Bethany. As we eagerly anticipated this appointment, something unexpected began to take place in my heart: I slowly began to feel my desire shifting to adopt domestically. I really can’t explain why, but by the time we went to our appointment yesterday, while still open to both options, I knew that I felt my heart leaning strongly toward domestic adoption.

As we sat through the two-hour informative meeting, hearing the many details regarding both international and domestic adoption, I felt the calling toward domestic adoption confirmed in every way. It is unexpected, largely unexplained, and yet I’m thrilled about it. As the social worker explained the ins and outs of the domestic program, I felt everything in me completely at peace with going in this direction, and after discussing it with Nathan, we are agreed that this is the path we will pursue.

I’ll give you a quick summary of what this process will be like. We will go through a home study, and after that is complete and we are approved, we will be eligible to be put in the pool of available families. We will then create a profile, which is a picture scrapbook of our lives. We can include letters, pictures, and anything else we want to let the birth mothers know what our family is like. Then, whenever a birthmother comes to the agency, she is able to look through the available profiles and select the parents she wants for her child. It’s as simple as that. No waiting lists, no set timelines. The crazy thing is that means we could be chosen in one week, one year, or never. There is no way of knowing, but somehow, even that part of the process is exciting to me right now.

The biggest decision that still remains is whether to choose the Bethany adoption agency or to go with Life Choices, which is a local crisis pregnancy center. If you would pray with us and ask God to help us decide which course to pursue, we would greatly appreciate it! I can’t wait to be able to make this decision and move forward with the paperwork necessary to get this process moving. Last night as Nathan and I were considering how excited we are about the baby God has for us, we also thought about how thrilled Marianna is going to be to have a baby brother or sister. That thought makes me so happy. I continue to be amazed at how God is redeeming our tragedy for good. Now as we move forward with this thrilling, but somewhat daunting prospect of adoption, I know His faithfulness will continue.