Monday, December 3, 2007

Entering the darkness



My dear, dear friends, I have put off writing since Poppy’s birth because my heart is so full and near to bursting in so many areas that I don’t really know where to begin. I long to share with you what has taken place over the last 48 hours, but how can I use words to paint any kind of picture that would come close to giving the reality justice? Nothing in my life up to this point is comparable to the past two days that God has carried us through. Indescribable happiness, joy, and fulfillment have been inextricably woven with grief, sadness, and loss. These intense emotions don’t seem to be compatible, yet they have existed side by side in our hearts throughout our stay in the hospital.

Poppy’s life is like a dream in so many ways. Her three hours here on this earth were so full yet so short! She was the answer to every single prayer that was cried out on her behalf. She was the fulfillment of a promise—a miracle in every way. Never have I seen God’s faithfulness shine more vividly than it did for those precious three hours Poppy was with us. I want you to know that her time here with us was not marred by a single second of sadness. All fear and uncertainty about her future was driven from my heart and mind from the second she began breathing on her own outside of my womb. I knew that she was sick, and I knew we still had no idea how long she would be with us, yet none of that mattered once we had her in our arms. All I could do was thank Jesus for her and enjoy her. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed her during those hours. I felt like my heart would explode with love and happiness and joy as I held her or watched other people hold her and love her. Looking back, I would not change one thing because every second we spent with her was so full of life and hope. Darkness was driven from that little room, and while there were certainly tears, all stemmed from joy and thankfulness over the precious miracle that was living and breathing right there with us. To sum it all up, her time with us was perfect.

Just as beautiful as the way she came into the world was the way she left it. I freely admit that her death was something I feared. I have never seen anyone die, much less my own child, and I couldn’t comprehend how I would be able to live through those moments. But once again, just as it has been each step of the way, God provided for us and gave us strength the moment we needed it. All of our friends had just left the room, and someone returned Poppy to my arms. I looked down at her, and in that instant I knew she was gone. Her beautiful eyes, which were opened almost her entire life, were vacant and still. It was not until that moment that grief entered our hearts. Nathan and I, surrounded by our parents and siblings, spent 45 minutes with her as her heart beat slowly faded away. It was bittersweet in every way. My tears flowed as the reality that we were saying goodbye settled over us like a blanket. My heart began to ache with loss as I looked over each of her tiny features and tried to memorize every detail and engrave it into my mind. At the same time, even in the midst of that sorrow, we were overwhelmed with peace. Poppy’s exit from this world was the very essence of peace. She didn’t struggle or experience any kind of pain; she simply took one final breath and went home.

In the hours that followed, the time we had spent with her didn’t seem real. I felt almost like I was replaying scenes from a movie that I had just been to see rather than scenes from my own life. But while it was strange, it was also a very sweet time. I was surrounded by a pervasive calm throughout the rest of Saturday and most of Sunday, and I believe that was a direct result of the countless prayers that you have been lifting up for us. The sense of safety we experienced as we were surrounded by the love and comfort of our friends and family was beautiful. I know that God has set His angels around us to give us a hedge of protection from the violence of the emotions that Satan would like to defeat us with. To be even more specific, I feel like He gave us about 36 hours under the protective blanket of emotional numbness before He allowed us to begin to experience the full weight of her death.

It wasn’t until last night that I felt the corner of that covering being lifted, allowing Nathan and me to begin the grieving process. In the quietness of our room, after all of the many visitors had left for the night, we climbed into the hospital bed together and wept as we clicked through the beautiful pictures that captured almost every moment of Poppy’s life. A physical pain began stabbing in my heart as I processed the reality of the loss. I looked down at my stomach and hated the fact that I no longer had her with me. I miss her; there’s just no other way to say it. I know that her body was not made for this earth, yet it’s still impossible for me not to miss her and want to hold her again. It makes me smile through my tears to think about her being with Jesus, and knowing she is whole and perfect and experiencing even more love than she knew here brings me comfort. But for myself, and for Nathan and Marianna, and all of the rest of our family and friends, I grieve the loss of her presence. I grieve what is not to be, while at the same time rejoicing over what was.

Something that Papa said many times has stayed with me over the past few months. He said “Do not doubt in the darkness what God has shown you in the light.” God has poured out His truth on us over the past months, and I want to cling to that even when it doesn’t seem nearly as clear as it once did. This is a season of darkness, but His love, compassion, and truth is just as real as it has ever been. God allows darkness, and He will bring us out in His own timing, but until then He will keep us safe. He will set me on that rock that is higher than myself.

68 comments:

Wade, Melanie, & kids said...

I can not begin to even imagine what you must be going through! Just know that I am and will be praying for you! What a beautiful little miracle and an amazing testimony!!!!!
With Love,
Melanie Smith

Brandi said...

Angie & Nathan,

I sit here with tears thanking God for Poppy Joy. Everything about her even before she made her presence here is a sweet testimony...to God be the glory. My heart rejoices and grieves with you and you are in my prayers continually. Blessed be the name of our Lord.

I love you,
Brandi

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength." Isaiah 26:3-4

Anonymous said...

Your words are truly amazing. God is so good to us. I am sorry for your loss but, rejoyce with you that you were able to spend 3 hr. with Poppy and you now have those memories in your heart. God bless your entire family, In Him, The Henry's in oregon

Emily said...

Angie,
Your incredible stregnth is so amazing. I have followed your journey with a heavy heart and I am so sorry for the incredible loss that you have experienced. You have shared something so private with all of us who have heard your story. I am so thankful to have been touched by you, Poppy & your whole family. Your precious little girl is so blessed to have been loved so very much during her all too breif time with you. I can feel the love that you feel for her through your writing. I have never met you but I feel like I know you & I love your family. I will continue to pray for you during the next days, weeks & months as you greive for your beautiful daughter. Thank you again for sharing your heart with us.
Love in Christ,
Emily

Elizabeth S said...

Oh Angie. My heart aches for you and Nathan today. Your post was beautiful. I am on my knees today asking for the protection to continue over the next few days as you begin to recover from the surgery and prepare for the service. I wish I could be there. Praying, constantly...

Anonymous said...

I love you, Angie. You are continually in my thoughts, and also in my prayers. I wish I could be there.

Thank you for sharing more pictures. And for guiding all of us in how to pray for you and Nathan and the rest of your family. Know that all of us who you've allowed a glimpse of your life will be faithful in this area.
connie

Kenzie Stanfield said...

Angie-

Your words are AMAZING and although they give a glimpse of the darkness you are in, they give way to so much light and joy and peace. I am so thankful that mostly you have felt peace through this time... Poppy is beautiful and like you said, she is with Jesus and enjoying her healed body as she awaits you guys some day. Know that we are praying for your healing, physical (which will probably come much more quickly) and emotional... although you are hurting, your spiritual side seems well intact. We love you and thank you for sharing the intimacy of your time with her!

Love,
Kenzie

Joanna Young said...

What an incredible testimony of God's faithfulness! I am praising God that He answered your prayers and you were able to spend some precious time with Poppy before she went home to be with the Lord. Thank you for allowing us to walk with you through this valley and see first-hand how the Lord carries you through. Thank you for sharing these precious pictures. She is beautiful! I am continuing to pray for you.

Jared, Kristin, Deanna, and Avery Edwards said...

Thank you for the post and sharing your pictures. This has been therapy to me.

I could not describe in better words the experience we have had grieving Jonathan.

It will continue for a while and it will be up and down. But God's grace is sufficient. He will see you through each day as he has us.

One thing that has helped us is spending quality time with each other. Just you and your spouse.

Press on in hope.

Yours in Christ,
Jared and Kristin Edwards

Julie Christopher said...

Your words are beautiful and amazing. My husband is going to read this to our church this weekend b/c he says that our people need to see faith like yours. Please know, that through Poppy, the gospel is being delivered in ways that could never be replicated. her life, although short, is making ripples in eternity.

Fern said...

She's a lovely baby. I want you to know I will continue to pray for you all. Lots of love, prayers and hope coming from Ohio...
- Fern

Dee Dee said...

Wish I could give you a hug.
Praying,
Dee Dee

pipsylou said...

She is beautiful. Thank you for sharing such a miracle with all of us. What a blessing to have those wonderful photos. And can I tell you how precious her little face is underneath that sweet little "Miss Muffet" hat? :)

kingfamily said...

Thank you for sharing sweet Poppy with us. I'm so thankful for the precious time that you had with her & so sad that time was so short. I will be praying for you!
Brandi in PA

Renee said...

Wow, Angie!!! I just shared today's entry with my kids to show them what faith looks like in action. Thank you so much for letting us share this time with you. Our family is forever changed from this experience. We love you so much.
Renee Moss

Anonymous said...

Our prayers are with you. What a beautiful angel that God graced you with for a time.

Karen said...

Angie & Nathan,

I don't know how to pray for you, but I will do my best. I will also pray for those around you to know how best to love you right now. For wisdom and grace. I pray that your Father pours His indescribable peace and joy over you.
I have a baby name book that gives verses for each name. For Poppy's, the verse is Isaiah 35:2 "It shall blossom abundantly and rejoice, even with joy and singing...They shall see the glory of the Lord, the excellency of our God." I thought that was just what Poppy had done for you.

Jessica said...

Angie and Nathan,
I am praying for you still. These are the days when the groanings of the Holy Sprit seem to come into play. I remember the 'darkness' you are entering. I will lift you up everytime you come to mind, which is very often. Thank you for sharing your joys and your pain with all of us.

Love,
Jessica

erin said...

she is beautiful ~ i am so sorry for your loss. i have been following your story since i saw you on copelands website. i am glad you had time with her and were able to hold her. i have an 8 month old little girl and i cant imagine what you are feeling. i pray that God will comfort you.

Laurie said...

Sweet Angie and Nathan,

You have my heart, broken as it is for you, you will always be in it. I love you guys and rejoice with you and grieve with you. Your faithfulness to the Lord has been shown in the most darkest of times for you in your journey, and it shines like a bright and morning star. Thank you so much for letting me be a part of your miracle and pray for you. It has changed my heart forever and I will be praying for you always. May God continue to shelter you in the days and weeks ahead as you heal physically Angie and you and Nathan heal together emotionally. To hear you say that everything was perfect in His Plan is the greatest honor you can give to our Father, the one who holds Poppy Joy close to His heart. Bless you today and peace be all over you is my prayer for you. Love you so special, Laurie in Ca.

The Lenda's said...

I don't know you but have been reading your blog for a few months. Congratulations on your beautiful little baby. She was the sweetest little doll baby I have ever seen. I am so glad that you got to meet her before she left this world. I will be praying for you and your family as your hearts heal as your arms long for your little one. May God bring you comfort as rest knowing that she is being safely held in the arms of her heavenly father.
Momm to two sweeties on earth and five babies in heaven

Rebecca said...

Oh, Angie...

I love you, Nathan, and both your daughters.

I have the first "Poppy on a blanket" photo (from Sunday night) printed out and hanging on my computer.

I've already had one person comment on how beautiful she is. :)

Rebecca

Emily said...

Sweet Angie,

You are safe. My heart remembers so well the feeling you are describing, of such immense joy and sorrow all at once. There truly are no words to describe the brief window of time spent with a miracle destined for Heaven. As one who never liked to cry, I struggled with letting myself be sad. (I was anyway, it just frustrated me to show it.) But to love much is to grieve much. Jesus weeps with you. Give yourself permission to do the same. All you have witnessed, all your girl and your God have taught you will likely take a lifetime to process. Be patient and do whatever you need to do to seek God in this midst of this. He is there. He hems you in behind and before. And I imagine He is already smiling and saying, "Well done, good and faithful servant." You love your girl well. Now you are free to rest and to know your baby is safe, too.

Clinging to Psalm 139:13-16 along with you...

Emily
Hope, Mattie, and Miller Grace's mom

the brown's said...

she is beautiful...
you all have been and will continue to be in our prayers...

Emily said...

Angie,

I continue to be amazed by your wisdom and faith. I respect you more than you will ever know! I am praying for you and Nathan today as the reality of your loss begins to sink in. I'm praying that you will be patient and gracious with yourselves and with each other during your season of grieving. I'm praying that precious little marianna will bring you joy and peace in the midst of your pain. I am praying that the Lord would use his word and his people as a healing balm in your lives. Know that you are surrounded with believers who are praying without ceasing for your sweet family! I love you!

Emily Duncan

Anonymous said...

Nathan and Angie....
How we will pray for you in these next days, months and years. I am a friend of Boothe Farley and am forever changed because of the lives of your little girls! Poppy is a miracle and will forever hear the lullabies of Heaven in Jesus' arms until you are there to hold her in yours...

D'Arcy Collins

Jessica said...

I just wanted to let you know that I shared your names and story with my MOPS steering team this morning and we all will continue to pray for your sweet family in the coming weeks and months! I sit here with tears in my eyes wishing that you didn't have to go through this. I just pray that God will comfort you and carry you through! Your Papa ministered to me for so many years and you, Angie, are ministering to me now. Thank you for sharing your heart with us all!

Kim said...

I am crying tears of joy and sadness for you guys. Poppy was such a beautiful girl, and what a perfect name for such a precious child of the King. I hate that she's gone, but I know that if she can't be here with you and be whole, she's in the best possible place. So I am thankful for that as well. Keep sharing your thoughts, they are precious to hear.

Anonymous said...

Such beautiful words, such a beautiful little girl. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, and for giving us a glimpse of your precious baby Poppy Joy. Know that you are being prayed for and hoping you feel carried by Jesus in this happy and sad time. Your faith is so uplifting and I wish you all the best, as the best is yet to come!
Katie

The Cosmic Joke said...

Angie and Nathan,
We think about you everyday. You two are so amazing. I am so thankful that you got to spend those wonderful hours with her and that your prayers were answered. Thank you for sharing Poppy with us. Your strength and love amazes me.

Laurin said...

angie, your words are cherished...and beautiful.

Mike Glenn said...

Angie and Nathan
I am in the Prayer Ministry at Premier Designs in Dallas. You have been on the prayer list since I first heard about Poppy's situation the middle of October. I am grateful that your two specific prayer requests were graciously answered - that Poppy be born alive and that others would be able to see her. Thank you for sharing the beautiful pictures. That personalized the prayers!!
Your words were extremely moving! I was profoundly touched!
My prayers are with you! May the love of our Heavenly Father fill your hearts with peace and comfort you!
Praying
Mike Glenn
Premier Designs Prayer Team

Boothe Farley said...

my dear friends-
i can honestly say i know what you feel. i hate that. i hate that either of us knows what the other has gone through. my prayer is that when you look back, you will be in awe at God provided for you and gave you strength that truly cannot be explained. you may never know how you got through the next few months, but you will. i dreamt of heaven last night, and what i saw was this: people, everywhere, communing together. people who i might have seen on the street or in a store here on earth and never imagined they'd be in heaven. i also saw them together on a hill, a grassy meadow, laughing and talking, as they watched a busy street far away, filled with cars carrying people here on earth. they knew of those that were still here. and they knew of each other. i'm not saying i had a revelation. but i woke with such joy and peace and a sense of excitement that i had to share it with you. they weren't perfect, yet - Jesus hasn't returned and restored us as He will - but they were alive, even more alive than we are now. i know it sounds weird... but i wanted to share it with you. know that i believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that copeland and poppy are there. they will be there when we finally arrive, and we will be with them forever.

Mandy said...

I am so sorry for your loss but at the same time, so happy Poppy has joined Madeline and Copeland and all the others in Heaven. We will see our babies again and until then, we will have to comfort each other in our days here on Earth. God bless you. I am praying for your sweet family. I know how badly it hurts and my heart breaks for you.

Mandy
Ga
www.madelinegracehopkins.blogspot.com

Chrys and Mike said...

I am praying for your precious family.

Chrys
Dallas, TX

Mo said...

What a beautiful little girl, with a beautiful name.

God bless you and your family. Know that this child in her short 3 hours on this earth has affected more people than most of us do in a lifetime.

And one day, you will see her again!

Christena said...

Angie and Nathan,

Your beautiful family and your boundless love are the enduring living legacy to your wonderful, sweet Poppy Joy. None of us wanted to join this Trisomy 18 community, but it wasn't up to us and your unbelievable courage and optimism helps others see what a wonderful gift each of our T18 babies is. I so wish you could still be holding your precious daughter here on earth, but please know that her short life has made a bigger impact than so many long, long lives. Your open hearts and Poppy Joy's perfect life are a gift to so many people that you don't even know - including me. Thank you for sharing so selflessly through your incredible journey. Bless you and your whole family, especially Poppy Joy, your angel in heaven.

Wendy... said...

I have just learned the news about Poppy and can't stop crying. I am so sorry for your loss, however I know your beautiful angel in in the safe, loving arms of Jesus....and so are all of you. What an amazing family all of you are!
I'm so thankful your specific prayers were answered!
With God's Love,
Wendy

Jonathan said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss, I wish I could have been there for her birth and the three hours of life God blessed her with. My prayers are with you.
God Bless,
Jonathan Rogers

Anonymous said...

angie and nathan- what a precious little girl! our hearts ache for you. we will continue to lift you up in prayer!
estelle and ben sones

Maria in Nashville said...

Dear Angie and family,
I found your blog via Boothe Farley's site, and I am so moved to read your beautiful story. I was especially touched by your simple and profound prayer, that your daughter would be born alive. How many of us forget to be thankful for such simple gifts as drawing breath and waking up each day? I am so happy that Poppy's short life was so rich and full, and that you were able to know her and love her. Thank you for sharing your story with strangers like me.
Every good wish to you,
Maria

Steve and Miranda said...

I have been keeping up with your journey and Poppy's life over the last couple of months...thank you for sharing it with so many people. I am grieving with you now and will continue to pray for God's overwhelming peace in your lives. Poppy is beautiful--the pictures you posted are priceless.

MightyMom said...

what a beautiful baby girl you have there.

God bless you and your family.

Aunt_Nette said...

I am working the night shift tonight and I will keep you in my prayers tonight. I will pray that you and your family get some much needed rest for the next few days. I will not be able to attend the services from Texas, but I will pray to our Father who will be there.

bought1 said...

18 years ago today Kallen Grace, our middle child was born on the front seat of my truck parked just outside of Methodist Central. G-d let us have her for 11 days. As we look at our two wonderful chldren, Beth and I know there is one precious daughter who is included also in our memory. Eighteen years have passed and our grief is still a present reality. There is yet another greater reality and that is the comfort contained in the words of the Christ. "I am with you-always." Beth lost her daughter and her mother within a period of 30 days. Her breasts were full of milk, her hormones were high and there was no lack of emotional turbulence. Yet throught it all and still today, there is One we hear saying- Peace, be still. Blessed be the name of the LORD.
This blog is a gift to the Christian community. Nathan and Angie, you are living witnesses of what G-d can do with those who are surrended totally to Him. We are in awe of G-d's display of grace in your lives. As it is written and your parents can testify, "I have no greater joy than knowing my children walk in truth." Thank you for your faithfulness to Him who is the Truth. G-d has now included your names in the community of wounded healers. G-d doesn't use anything or anyone without first breaking them. Your tears are precious to Him. There is nothing better for your vision than tears. Let Jesus have them all and let them freely flow. Unto thee, O LORD, do I lift up my tawa." The sum-total of my being. In 2 Samuel 12.23 David said after the loss of his child- "I shall go to him". Beth and I are so looking forward to the day to see Kallen Grace and Poppy Joy. They will be ravishing beauties in full flower. We both confess with Mary- "He doeth all things well"..
Again Nathan and Angie do not hold back your tears. Do not attempt to "be strong". His grace is made displayed in our weakness.
We are grieving with you over the loss of Poppy Joy, but also will celebrate the mighty impact of one so small and frail, for years to come. She preached quite a sermon in three short hours.
In the words of "Poppy" Sr. God is Love, Jesus is Wonderful.

We love and highly respect you,
With great anticipation..
Carl and Beth

Candace said...

Angie and Nathan-
Thank you so much for sharing your difficult journey with us. You have poured your hearts into this blog and for that I thank you. You have allowed us to see your hurts, fears, and joys. What a blessing and encouragement it has been to me and to many! We love you guys so much!

Michelle Fye said...

Angie, Nathan, Marianna and Family:

I can not even begin to describe the wave of emotions I feel right now. Your Papa was my pastor 9 months before I was born until his passing so your family has been dear to my heart for some 30 years. What a wonderful legacy he has left in you. Your faith has been such an encouragement to me and many others.

As a mom, my heart aches for you but also am thankful that you have reminded me once again to be thankful to God for my child. He has a unique path in this world for each of us. Better yet, He has equipped us with what we need to make it each and every day.

Know that you are being prayed for by so many people. May we never forget this journey you have traveled and how God has molded and shaped you through it.

I pray for God to wrap you up in His arms like never before and hold you through your time of mourning. Praise God for his unspeakable gifts....Poppy is in a much better place and is a healthy little girl. I bet she and Papa are sitting together at the feet of Jesus.

Mrs. Nichole Jordan said...

I just came across your blog thru a friends link. I was touched and cried reading your story. How precious the life that your daughter lived although it was sweet and little it brought you to Him.
Praying for your family in this time.

Annie- Nashville said...

Sweet, Sweet Family-
You have been in my thoughts and prayers for some time now and will continue to be lifted to the Father. Little sweet Poppy Joy was an amazing Testimony to Gods grace and joy that He pours over us daily. I am so grateful that you were able to spend time on this earth with her and hold her. What a dear sweet memory that will forever be. Rest in knowing that Jesus holds her now. Bless you all during this season of pain and may He bring you comfort and joy at this time. Much love & prayers

Emmie said...

Dear Brethren, Thank you for using such a sad occasion to bring glory to our great God. Your little one is exquisitely beautiful, and I have been blessed in being able to pray for you and yours since I learned of you and your situation. I am following the other T18 babies and families and praying for them, too. "Never doubt in darkness..." has served me well, too, for many years. That, and He Knows. God is a refuge for us! Love and prayers from Emmie in Central Texas.

Brandi said...

Angie,
Those pictures are so sweet. Thank you for posting them. Again, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this "darkness." But know that you have so many people praying you through it!

Anonymous said...

Your pictures of Poppy Joy as well as your family pictures are beautiful!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers multiple times a day.
Love,
Nicole Wilkes Eaton

Leah said...

God bless you and your family... the Lord is faithful and good. I have read along with you in your journey and pray for God's strength to invade your home.

With love, Leah O.
http://mrsogletree.wordpress.com

Devin said...

I couldn't figure out why I was so restless this whole weekend...now I know. I let my life get in the way of checking on yours and I am so sorry.

God has his little angel back. I am fervently praying for some comfort for you. God Bless.

Anonymous said...

You do not know me, I found your blog through Conor and Boothe, but I wanted you to know that I am praying for you. Right now, I am praying for you, as uncontrolable tears fall down my face...hoping that I, as a fellow believer can carry just a tiny portion of your sorrow, even for a moment. I know that your sweet Poppy and Copeland are together now, and someday we all will be.

God Bless you.

Anonymous said...

thinking of you today.

Anonymous said...

I am a friend of Jana's and have been following your journey through your blog. Please know we are lifting y'all up that you may feel God's mighty peace and comfort through this next stage in your journey. Thanks for sharing Poppy Joy with us. Her pictures are beautiful. I am so glad to hear of the precious moments you were able to share with your little gem. I am amazed at the impact such a little soul can have on so many strangers. Poppy Joy has impacted me and I am uplifted by your faith. In the midst of your story you are teaching me how to be a stronger Christian and I will be forever grateful.

DandelionSeeds said...

Praying... I woke up the other night thinking of you and knew I needed to stop by and see how things were going. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm so thankful for the time you were granted with Poppy. May God carry you through these tough times and give you peace.

Still Seeking,
Amy

Jenn said...

Dear Angie
I love you and your precious family so much. My heart is breaking for you, I can not imagine the darkness you are feeling, however I know the light that shines in the darkness. "JESUS" I think it's not a coincidence that Jesus himself was born on a dark night so the star of Bethlehem could show the shepherds and the Wisemen the way to the King.
I myself have been experiencing darkness in my life not knowing what God has for my future and for my family but what I have experienced is faithfulness. He always leaves enough light to stay on the his path and accomplish his will. Keep your eyes focused on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith and the worlds darkness will fade away.
I pray that God will give You and Nathan and Marianna a Peace that surpasses all understanding and light so bright you don't feel the darkness.
I love you Girl!!
Jennifer Carraway

Jenn said...

Angie I wanted to share this vs with you.
2 Corinthians 12:9
"My Grace is sufficient for you, for My Power is made perfect in weakness"

Love yall'
Jennifer Carraway

Cindy said...

All I can say is "wow"! That was so well written. My princess has been home 9 months today. I know the thoughts, emotions, joys, and sorrows you are experiencing. I pray you can find encouragement that only His grace has gotten me to today. He has been faithful, overflowing faithfulness. Cling with all you have to the truths you have hidden in your heart friend. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Today a sweet friend brought a gift by. It was an ornament that said,"Merry Christmas from Heaven - I love you all dearly,now don't shed a tear, I'm spending my Christmas with Jesus this year." So sorry for your loss, yet so excited for Poppy Joy and all our sweet loved ones in Heaven. Your testimony is a blessing.
Sincerely,
Cindy Waldeck in CA
www.logansrace.com

Anonymous said...

Thank you for letting those of us that couldn't be there see Poppy Joy and know of your continued faith. What sweet photos of Marianna looking at her little sister so lovingly. You have allowed us to see into your family - invited. Thank you for inviting us. I love you so much and have been praying for you all. I praise the Lord for this gift He has given to all of us in Poppy Joy.

Jeanne

bobby said...

This is Greg’s friend Bobby again. My internet hasn’t worked for a few days, but I’ve still been praying, and now have found some of my prayers specifically requested in your recent posts! God is even leading people you’ve never met to pray for your specific needs. He loves you guys a lot! I know you know that, but it bears repeating. Nathan and Angie, your testimony and faith and love are amazing. When I think of you and pray for you I can't help but think how awesome God is, in His faithfulness to you through this whole time, and in His faithfulness to Poppy in giving her such extraordinarily good parents for her time here. This blog is only part of the story of the impact of her life. I’m so sorry for your loss, and yet so grateful for your joyful time with her. The pictures of her are beautiful. Thank you for sharing your hearts with all of us. Also, I just noticed the title of this post, and just by way of comfort/encouragement wanted to affirm with you that Jesus leads you only where He's gone before; He prepares the way and saves you from the worst. I have been and continue to be praying for you all.

Anonymous said...

Angie & Nathan,

I have been wanting to post a comment here ever since I received the news of Poppy Joys birth and her passing. Each time I sat down to do so, I became overwhelmed and at a loss of words.

Thank you for sharing the photos of her. She is beautiful. As I look at the one of her holding the wedding ring, I am reminded of just how tiny babies are and how fragile life is. Especially that of an infant.

Knowing that prayers were answered and that you two along with your family and friends were allowed to hold her and know her (even if only for a short while) makes me very happy. But the thought of you all having to say goodbye saddens me tremendously. Is it possible for a heart to break and rejoice at the same time?

I would like you both to know that this stranger in Florida respects, admires, and loves you both for your faithfulness and trust in the Master. Your maturity and wisdom is beyond belief and you have both encouraged and inspired me. You know/knew that every life He entrusts to us is precious, worth while, and meaningful. No matter what the situation or outcome may be. You had faith and trust in Him to bring you through the pregnancy, labor, and delivery. And I know you have that same faith and trust to bring you through the rest of this journey.

As I write this to you all a verse from a song keeps going through my mind:

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain then.......
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and Live!

In closing I want to thank you both for sharing such a personal and intimate part of your lives with us. And want you to know I am praying for God's peace for both of you.

in His love,

Darlene - Fl

Anonymous said...

Praying for your family.

Laurie said...

Angie and Nathan,

I continue to lift you up in prayer today as you prepare to celebrate Poppy Joy's precious life tomorrow. I will be there in my heart. The picture of her wearing your wedding rings takes my breath away. It says so much about the unbroken bond you have with her. May Gods soft blanket of peace wrap you together tomorrow and even in the darkness, your light in the Father shines so bright. He holds your broken hearts in His hands.

Love you so much, Laurie in Ca.

Kathy S. said...

Dearest Angie and Nathan,

May God’s great peace be with you during this very hard time.

Psalm 119:165 says “Great peace have they who love thy law and nothing shall offend thee or cause thee to stumble.”

Angie, You are so much like Mary in the bible who didn’t understand Why she was chosen to be the mother of Jesus; yet in her Humble, trusting way she said, “Be it done unto me according to Thy will.”

Our dear Lord Jesus loves it when we trust Him like that; so completely with every detail of our lives.

Angie and Nathan, Because of your total surrender to Him, and your trust and obedience to Him, He will bless you greatly. You will know Him in a deeper and more loving, intimate, way than ever before.

Trusting God means looking beyond what we can see to what God sees.

One day you will see your little one whole and complete. While here on earth God will have made you so much stronger in your walk with Him.

See, already He is using your life to help so many others.

And on these pages the love of Jesus shines through in your faces even in the midst of your sorrows.

May our dear Lord Jesus’ richest blessings be upon you and Nathan and your precious family.

Know thatI love you dearly and you are always in my prayers.

Kathy S.

Mountain Butorac said...

I'm sorry I'm so late in finding you. What a touching and painful story. My wife and I lost a baby in 2004. Our daughter was just a few days from birth when she died. For us, it was the umbilical cord.

The part that brought back the most memories is when you said how you tried to memorize every detail of her. I did the same thing. While my wife slept, I held our daughter all night and tried to memorize every detail on her. To this day, I still remember every detail.

Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry you had to go through this.

-Mountain